We saw our first snake for the season the other day so, with politics stalled in no-man’s land, I thought it might be time for a snake story. Actually, it’s about snakes and mothers-in-law, so there’s something here for everyone.

Many years ago my mother-in-law was still with us and she lived in a house surrounded by untamed bushland in suburban Epping. She had a great love of the Australian bush and lived by and large in harmony with all its inhabitants.

One day, however, looking from the kitchen window, she saw a large black snake. Normally it would have been allowed to go on its way but on this day the grandchildren were due to visit and she felt it would be safer not to have a venomous snake about the place.

Grandma rang her neighbour up the road who arrived armed with a big shovel and together the two snake hunters snuck up on Stanley Snake. Alas, he was too quick for them and dived into the rock pool and vanished. A standoff ensued.

Just then, the phone rang and when Grandma answered the call it was her sister from across the valley.

“I’m sorry, I can’t talk now. I’ll call you back,” said Grandma and hung up so she could get back to the snake watch.

What she didn’t know was that her sister had just heard on the radio that an escaped prisoner was in the area. The man was hiding in local bushland, so the police said, and everyone was advised to lock their doors and be on the lookout for suspicious characters.

Of course my mother-in-law’s sister, having never been hung up on before, imagined the worst and called the police.

Back at the pond, the savvy snake was still holding his breath, as were the spade wielding vigilantes waiting on the edge.

Suddenly a helicopter zoomed low above their heads while simultaneously a squadron of police cars with flashing lights and sirens tore down the driveway. As Grandma explained later over a nice cup of tea, “I knew the snake was an Australian native and I’ve never tried to whack one before but when the police arrived I told them I was sorry and I’d never do it again”.

After a bit of embarrassment all round it all worked out for the best. The police went back to base, the snake slithered groggily away and the bad guy was eventually apprehended.

So there you go. Thankfully, there is more to life, and there will be life after, tweedledee and tweedledum politics.