It’s the time of the year for reflection and maybe even a few new year’s resolutions.

Some of our politicians and other movers and shakers may have skipped their resolutions this year, so I’ve taken the liberty of composing a few for them.

For Michael Costa and Morris Iemma:

“We resolve to listen to the people. No longer will we say we are making the ‘hard and tough decisions’ as a euphemism for listening only to our mates in the private sector.

“We further resolve not to sell public assets that were gifted by our parents and grandparents to the people of New South Wales. We can now see that all the money raised from private venture capital will have to be paid back with interest by our children and grandchildren.

“We admit that selling what belongs to the people, not to us – and then leaving the debt to be paid by the people, not by us – is morally reprehensible and we’re sorry we tried it on.”

For Peter Garrett:

“I resolve to follow my beliefs and not to kowtow to pernicious pragmatists who’ll say or do anything to win votes. I realise that supporting the Gunns pulp mill was a mistake and I can now see that I could have been the Environment Minister and yet remained true to myself.

“As my new year atonement, I’m getting on the blower to Michael Costa to remind him of the Federal Government’s obligation to price carbon emissions at whatever it takes to meet our greenhouse gas target. I’m going to make him come as clean as a 2020 smokestack. He’s going to tell me how his private enterprise buddies are going to get a return on their investment, meet my targets and not put the price of electricity through the roof.”

For Australian sportmen (and I don’t mean ‘sportspersons’ for it is always the boofy blokes who are in most need of new year’s resolutions):

“As an athlete who has made excellence in cricket, tennis, footy [tick box] my life’s goal, I resolve to win with humilty and to lose with grace. While it may be true I come from one of the best sporting nations, if I cry foul when I lose, it makes me look ridiculously one-eyed to anyone with more than half a wit.

“I further resolve to achieve my personal best to disprove the theory that a true Australian sports star must combine the talent of a champion with the mind of a child.”

For nationalists everywhere:

“We resolve to stop rabbitting on about what it means to be Australian. We agree it is much more important to avoid being a drongo. We realise that every country on earth has drongos and that drongos have more in common with each other, regardless of race, than the rest of us have in common with them.”

For all of us:

“We resolve to take advantage of the fact that 2008, like every year yet to come, is a blank canvas awaiting a painting. We see that there is a little brush in all of us but if we just sit back and watch, the picture we end up in will be entirely someone else’s doing.