The other day someone called a colleague of mine a watermelon; green on the outside, red on the inside. It was meant as an insult, a warning or both.

Well, I’m red on the inside too. At least last time I cut myself it appeared to be so. Of course the watermelon jibe referred not to what we’re made of but rather what we believe.

But are there any reds lurking about these days, under the bed or anywhere else? How likely is it that the working class will cast off their shackles, rise up and take control of the means of production?

Do many twenty-first century people even think like that? Some socialist party stalwarts are out there still preaching and predicting revolution, but for as long as I can remember, almost nobody takes them seriously.

At the end of the nineteenth century, Karl Marx, the architect of communism and socialism, developed the theory of surplus value: that is, the value of work is always greater than the amount the workers are paid. There’s nothing terrible about that; it’s the basis of capitalism too. The excess is the entrepreneur’s reward, the funds for expansion and the investor’s dividend.

History shows us that so far no society has come up with a better way to organise the workforce. The ‘reds’ main contribution to our way of life has been to improve the employment conditions of ordinary workers.

Making child labour illegal, ensuring a minimum wage, occupational health and safety: these workplace gains came about by the coalition of organised labour and democratic government.

Let’s agree that a workers’ revolution in Australia is a fanciful notion, a vain hope in a few people’s minds that one day getting to choose who gets shot against the wall will make up for decades of selling angry newspapers in the rain outside railway stations.

What then, is the meaning of the accusation to be green outside and red inside?

Let the anti-watermelon brigade say what they really mean. Give us an example of green or red excess that’s causing harm in the community.

It seems to me that all the obstacles laid in the way of progress towards a sustainable future come from the anti-green mob. I think they really should have a colour too.

What about puce? Dull, purple-ish brown and flea coloured. They could be any type of fruit so long as it’s a bit rotten and way past its use-by date. Puce on the outside and even pucer on the inside.

Okay, I know there’s nothing to be gained by labelling people. Let’s stick to the issues that affect us all and try to find the common ground.

It’s a feature of our egalitarian culture that we can pick a political party to follow for life much like a footy team and often just as arbitrarily. The challenge now is to pick the best message rather than simply going with your team’s messenger.

The banner colour doesn’t matter; it can be anything except puce.